The two most common problems we encounter when meditating are drowsiness and scatteredness. Drowsiness can result from lack of sleep, but another significant reason is that our concepts or perspectives are incorrect. What kind of perspectives are problematic?
For example, when I first entered monastic life, I would rest at 10 PM and had to wake up at 4:10 AM. After getting up, I would start the Eight-Form Moving Meditation at 4:30 AM and meditate at 5 AM. For someone who has just become a monk, it is quite challenging to adapt. Life at the monastic university is very disciplined. To phrase it positively, at that time, both my physical and mental condition appeared quite lively. In reality, however, I had no idea what meditation was, and there were various areas for me to make adjustments, including sleep, diet, and physical well-being.
Overall, at that time, the amount of sleep was insufficient for me. What did I do? I had to seize opportunities to nap. When is the best time to nap? The ideal time to sleep is during the morning and evening meditation sessions. As soon as I sat down and relaxed, it was the perfect timing, and of course, it was used for sleeping! Besides the meditation sessions, I could even sleep during morning and evening chanting. In the DDM monastery in Taiwan, chanting was done standing up, but I could manage to sleep while standing. In any case, I found every possible chance to take a nap. So, for me, the purpose of the morning and evening meditation sessions was to catch up on sleep. I would just change my posture, find a different spot, and continue sleeping. I don’t know how long I continued this way. However, once I got used to sitting down, crossing my legs, relaxing and regarding it as a time to sleep, that became problematic! Once this habit was formed, it wasn’t easy to change.
The key point is, for a long time, I didn’t want to change! Whenever there was a chance to sleep, I would take it! Later on, I experienced the consequences and realized that it seemed like meditation wasn’t benefiting me at all. I was just going through the motions of group practice, dozing off during meditation, and since nobody was watching, I didn’t need to worry about how I looked when I was sleeping. However, when I later had to teach meditation myself, I thought, “How can I teach meditation without any real experience?” So, I began reflecting on what went wrong. I realized that because I was always sleeping during meditation, I did not have any real experiences. I discovered that my mindset was wrong—I had been treating meditation as a period for rest and catching up on sleep.
So, the first thing is to change the mindset about meditation. Meditation is not meant for relaxation, although it can provide relaxation; relaxation is not the purpose of meditation. If you really need to rest, just lie down in bed, get comfortable, sleep well, and then meditate afterward. Don’t use the posture and opportunities for meditation as a way to rest or sleep. So, why don’t we see significant progress in our meditation practice? Drowsiness is one factor.
There is also another state when you are just sitting there, not dozing off, feeling awake but also not using any method. Just sit there but nothing is happening— neither catching up on sleep nor practicing a method. It’s like being stuck in a quagmire, unable to move, not knowing what you’re doing! From appearance, it may seem like a stable sitting posture, but this is called “dullness.” If every time you sit down, it turns into this type of meditation, then such meditation is ineffective. Even if you develop a habit of meditating every morning and evening, and even finding time during the day to meditate for a few hours, appearing very diligent; it is not effective nor will it lead to any progress.
“Dullness” is one state, “drowsiness” is another, and there’s also a third state where one “perceives oneself as diligent.” For example, someone sitting nearby observes another person rocking back and forth during meditation and says, “You seem to be sleeping or feeling drowsy during meditation!” The person responds, “Really? I don’t think so! I know I’m fully awake! I’m not sleeping.” Despite the observer pointing out that the individual seems to be sleeping and swaying during meditation, the individual denies it. It’s unclear why they deny it – perhaps due to saving “face,” or maybe they genuinely believe they are awake?
I’ve experienced this sensation myself. For instance, I feel awake during meditation, but why is it that after a while, I find myself pulling my tilted body back? Why does my body lean forward, to the left, or to the right, becoming completely slumped? I have to exert some force to straighten it, yet I still feel awake? In situations like this, yes, you are indeed awake, but you are “not clear enough.” It’s not accurate to say you are drowsy; rather, you are not clear enough. When you are not clear enough, it is also not clear whether you are using the method as expected, and meditation in such a state is ineffective.
If you are not making progress in meditation, you can examine and reflect on your mindset. Are you using meditation as a means to catch up on sleep? Do you fall into a state of “dullness” as soon as you start? Does your body lean to one side when you meditate, and do you have to straighten it? Moreover, when others tell you about any issues they observe during your meditation, it’s a rare opportunity to have someone provide feedback. In such cases, it’s best to check if these issues are indeed happening. Meditation practice is a personal endeavor, so don’t be concerned about your “face.” Meditation is not something done for others to see, and it’s also not a competition with others.
